Dying…Just to Dance
- Oh…if I could only dance like the ballerinas in the Nutcracker!
- If I could just get my feet into pointe shoes
- If ONLY I were 5′ 10″ rather than 5′ 4″
- If I were only a size zero and not built for swimming and running (yeah…an athlete)
- Why does my ballet teacher always look like she is sick?
These are the thoughts I had growing up. Yes…I took ballet…just like many of you did. And …yes, there was a time when my closest friend was not only able to get her feet into pointe shoes but was actually able to lift herself up onto pointe and dance like I so wanted to. I wanted to be a ballerina. I was so jealous. I would watch her and wanted to do what she did, but that meant moving up to a higher level of ballet and changing my body type.
What I did not know was this: In order to be a world class ballerina, you had to be not just thin but gaunt…even ghost-like with shoulder and cheek bones exposed. With long legs and almost no body fat. I recall my ballerina teacher…tall, gaunt, tapping the floor with her 1, 2, 3 stick and gobs of mascara and long died hair…like she was trying to cover up her eyes. But, after five years of going up against my friends in tap, ballet and jazz, I gave up my tap shoes and ballet slippers for a piano.
I did quite well with the piano for my stage in life. I competed at the state level and won a few awards. And, it did not matter that I was 5 feet, 4 inches tall and never overweight but built like an athlete. (My athletic side served me well in piano…I could pound the keys hard and rough at times and had to work on the softer keys).
So why this story? I will tell you why. I sat and watched an interview yesterday with New York City Ballet principal dancer Jenifer Ringer who was called fat by a “New York Times” critic. I believe he said something to the effect that “the sugar plum fairy ate too many sugar plums” or some such nonsense.
As a blogger, this is a tough one. This critic has his freedom of speech and press. But, did he go to the Nutcracker to critique the bodies of the dancers? I don’t think so. It is this type of bad press that is fueling the eating disorders of young women not just in the USA but around the world, including anorexia, bulemia and exercise anorexia. I know that as a dancer, you have to expect jabs about your body, but this has gone a bit too far. This woman is far from overweight. She looks like she could gain a pound or two, but she is called “fat”? What the hell is going on in our country?
I am debating about going to see the new film Black Swan. It looks fabulous, and I am sure it will be up for a nod on the Oscar nomination side of things, but the two co-stars, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have admitted that they had to drop about 20 pounds to play the role…eating 1000-1200 calories per day and dancing 7 hours a day to get the “gaunt, bony, “acceptable” body to play the role of one of the best of the best in the New York City ballet. They were both thin to begin with, so looking at the trailers makes me just wonder how sick they really looked in making the film and how exhausted they really were.
Eating disorders are not new. I watched White Christmas two nights ago, and Vera Allen, who played Judy Haynes, was apparently suffering from the disorder before the medical word coined the term anorexia. If you watch this classic, you will notice about a 16 inch waist (and I am not exaggerating).
I also want to take the time to mention the “fat” comments about Bristol Palin. I think Kathy Griffin is actually very funny, but I don’t really see what is so funny about talking about Bristol gaining weight during Dancing with the Stars. I did not watch the show, so I cannot really comment on it, but I did not laugh at all when I heard the joke…it was just thrown into her show as a jab.
I encourage our nation to start talking about health rather than weight. I beg people to stop judging women and especially young women on their body size or if they’ve gained a pound or two. It is those women who “gain the freshman 15″ who start purging, eating laxatives by the box and doing everything to get bone thin only to die at an early age…think of Karen Carpenter…a great woman gone too soon because somewhere along the way (my guess) is that someone said she was fat and needed to lose weight to stay appreciated by our ridiculous media who has been over-focused on the celebrity bone-thin look.
Related articles
- City Ballet Dancer Responds to Times Critic (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com)
- Ballet dancer defends critic’s right to make sugar ‘plump’ fairy jibe (guardian.co.uk)
- Ballerina Responds To NY Times Critic’s Body Comments (newyork.cbslocal.com)
Bea Fields is the President of 
You really hit the nail on the head, Bea. We seem to be ruled by the glitter and glamour that we see on the screen and throughout the media. Perhaps if we understand that what we see in the movies and television isn’t real, we can start to appreciate the magic of our bodies and take steps to take good care of it rather than abuse it.
Bea, I love what you’ve written here!
Can so relate about trying to be a ballerina….sounds like my own ballet story – AND piano that worked out better for me!
I get furious anytime I hear someone make jokes about someone being too “heavy”…. usually a female being targeted.
It’s no wonder that women struggle with body issues from very early in life.